Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
