New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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