Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
