he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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