Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
