I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
