That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
