You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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