Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize