thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
