i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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