what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
