Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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