it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
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