Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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