after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
