i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
