She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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