small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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