Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
