Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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