oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize