Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
whose parrot is this?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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