Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
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Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
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She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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