dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
