Just cropdusted the office
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
