You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
