Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
