Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Randomize
