Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
