What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
How does it feel to date your dad?
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