He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
