I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
