Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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