Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize