Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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