Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
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I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
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I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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