if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
