New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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