how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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