1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
