I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
