I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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