He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
