Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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