I met the friendliest cop last night
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
FUCK WHALES
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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