Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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