My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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