Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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