oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
be right there i have to get my cape
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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