so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
