I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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