I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
