He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
