it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
