we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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