and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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