You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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