We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
