In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
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