She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
