absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
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